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[cozen]

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[sulahnan]

[ She mimes adding GET HIGH ON A BEACH to that imaginary list. ]

Not that I know of, no. I was just thinking about the times I've panicked about silly things and smoked to calm down, and wondered what if.

[ The closest she's come to panicking while on a mission was after that Maleficar took control, but clearly she kept it together long enough to escape, shove the fear aside, and seek comfort in Derrica's bed. (It's why she has a nervous tic, now, one she's been trying to hide since Bastien started training her.) 🙃 ]

[cozen]

[ sweetie :c ]

Mm. I wonder if an apothecary could come up with something. Something that would not last as long, just interrupt it for a moment. Like when people scream or slap someone to make them focus and then they are a bit better.

[sulahnan]

[ it's fine she just over-corrects little involuntary finger twitches by flexing her hand it's fiiiine ]

Maybe. [ She thinks on it for a moment, then decides to add a little reassurance, just in case. ] Until then I'm going to continue only smoking when I'm not working.

[cozen]

[ He laughs a little, like it’s a joke, because he wasn’t worried. ]

We could try some training exercises that way, if you want. See how you feel about it. But, ah—

[ He glances up at the back/side of her head. ]

Are you doing all right?

[sulahnan]

[ She turns her head to look at him, as if she might see what, specifically, he means. He knows she's a mess and the various factors playing into that. It's unlikely he doesn't know that she's pretending to be fine for the sake of getting through each day without collapsing, because she's nowhere near as good a pretender as he. So Athessa looks at him, determines that she doesn't know which specific contributor he's asking after, and shrugs. ]

Am I not hiding it well?

[cozen]

No, no. You have a very good brave face.

[ He stops writing to lean forward over the bench, one arm folded to pillow his chin, pen hand prodding her cheek with the inkless end in an aimless, gentle way that’s only intended to be slightly obnoxious. ]

Ouaip. No cracks at all.

[sulahnan]

[ Of course he succeeds at gentle-but-slightly-obnoxious, which is in itself charming and coaxes a laugh out of her even as she fends off the pen with her own. En garde. ]

Bon, merci, then I am as alright as I need to be right now.

[cozen]

If you like.

[ He keeps the pen fighting up while he talks, in a lazy way. ]

But you can still talk to me when you are not falling apart, you know. And you not have to talk about something once and then consider it be over forever. Talking is good for you.

[sulahnan]

I do want to talk to you when I'm not falling apart,

[ She swivels, draping her legs over his (if they're sticking out under the bench) and taking care not to crush his knees or anything. The idea that she only talks to people when she's troubled about something or falling apart is one that has been weighing on her lately, which has contributed to her not talking to people she cares about, which doesn't really help anything. ]

But I also don't want to keep talking about myself right now. I wanna talk about...ya know. Happier things.

[cozen]

[ Bastien thinks about it for a moment, then says, ]

D'accord.

[ He'd still like her to talk about things that bother her before she's crying about them, but he can certainly respect wanting to focus on something positive. So. ]

Have you heard any interesting gossip lately?

[sulahnan]

No, not really, just a lot of exceedingly dull rumors, [ she's clearly feigning boredom because she knows that this particular rumor would hold his interest. ]

Apparently someone's working on making a new puppet show based on some old Orlesian stories. What were they called...? Blue Dog? Brown Falcon? Something like that.

[cozen]

What?

[ He's briefly too excited to be offended by the transparently fake name-forgetting. ]

Who? When? –and if you call him the Blue Dog again, [ now he can be offended, ] I will cry.

[sulahnan]

[ Her half-hearted pen duel is quickly lost so she can force his hand in her own defeat, pretending to be grievously injured in the shoulder the way heroes always are. ]

I'll— I'll never tell! Augh!

[cozen]

[ He holds his pen to her throat. ]

Is this really what you want to die for? A puppet show?

[sulahnan]

Do your worst—

[ She fake-spits off to one side, tilting her chin up for a cleaner target. ]

I will never betray the Black Fox's secret!

[cozen]

[ He presses the pen just a little harder, then pulls it back. ]

Good. You have passed the first test.

[sulahnan]

Phew. Glad to hear it. [ What a relief. Now she can get back to redacting things from this paperwork.

And continue not divulging anything about any rumored Black Fox puppet shows. ]

Maybe we should add pen dueling to our training, since you're clearly far more proficient in it than I am.

[cozen]

Oh, s'il te plait. You let me win.

[ He eats more bread. He's not given up on the puppet show, but he isn't going to talk with his mouth full. ]

[sulahnan]

Only because you took it easy on me.

[cozen]

[ After a swallow, ]

I did no such thing. [ And back to the important things: ] Is the show happening in Kirkwall?

[sulahnan]

[ Gee whiz, this work just got so interesting! She must peer closer at this page — ]

Hm? Oh, probably. Eventually. Who knows, really?

[cozen]

You are the worst gossiper I have ever known.

[sulahnan]

Thank you!

[ Look it's hard to gossip after committing to a secretive bit. But she snaps out of it to fold her arms on the bench and divulge, because it's Bastien and he loves the Black Fox. ]

So I don't know when, but I have it on good authority that a guy called Guillory is adapting the stories.

[cozen]

Ah-ha. And now you have failed the second test. Willing to sacrifice your life, but not to be insulted—tsk.

[sulahnan]

Augh!

[ She presses her face into her forearms, truly an image of dismay. ]

Damn it!