I was Édouard Almary, a printer who came to Val Royeaux from the Deauvin Flats.
[ Monsieur Almary had a whole story. An imaginary family. Toward the end of Bastien's six-year stint with that false identity, there were days it even felt real. But it's hardly relevant now. ]
Only for a few years, though. Before that I was a bard.
[ Of course he did. A bard, or a former bard, might change their name over and over. But Bastien has always seemed so steadfastly one thing that it still feels surprising to know. ]
Sometimes. Often, in the beginning, and less often at the end. After I quit I missed the—the work, I suppose. The excitement. It's good to be doing some of it again now, for a better reason.
Now you have to tell me...
[ A moment to think. She's right; he does know about her past. Not all of the details, of course, but enough to know it's full of trip wires. ]
[ This, she has to think about, too. Bastien has told her things she didn't already know; she doesn't want to respond with something he could easily guess. ]
I want to go back to Nevarra. I want to find the place where I lived and make sure no one can ever make someone like me again.
[ Possibly sooner than after the war - during a war is when someone would want to. ]
I think home will be Denerim. We’re excited to travel, [ him and By, ] so maybe we will live a little bit everywhere. And I have to visit Val Royeaux. She is my mother. But I think Denerim is where we will go back to.
I went to a tavern in Denerim when I was there last, and they put their stew inside bread. It was amazing. I’m obsessed. You will have to come visit so I can buy you one.
[ He’s not her father; he doubts she needs one, and the most he’s ever aspire to being for anyone is a fun uncle. But still. He’s most familiar with Matthias as someone calling Byerly a wanker and saying he wouldn’t care if he died, so— ]
And he’s kind to you? He listens? No name-calling?
[ Asked mildly, with only a small amount of real worry. He’s pretty sure Laura wouldn’t tolerate it. But only pretty. ]
[ Her answer is immediate. The very question feels peculiar; if anything, she's of a mood to think herself far less kind. Matthias has learned to heal people, and she still exists to harm them. (Even Matthias himself, if only by accident.) She leaves the Gallows - and him - for months at a time, and he's never resentful. ]
He always listens. Unless I don't wish to say anything. Then he talks.
[ Shocking as that might be to some people who get his argumentative, ornery pieces. But that’s why Bastien’s willing to believe without question that Matthias is gentle with Laura. No one is only one thing all the time with everyone. ]
If he weren’t, I’d have called things off a long time ago. And thrown all of his clothes into the harbor.
[ If she isn't the first person to be happy for him, she's certainly the first one to say so.
Which is fine. That's the risk a fellow runs, taking up with a (technically) married man who has a history of riling people up for kicks and/or intel, who's sometimes genuinely moody and difficult, and has now been saddled with a position where he cannot possibly please everyone in their rowdy and disparate little organization and has more important work to do than try. If what Bastien needed was for everyone to be happy for him, he'd have married Catarina Barreau and had half a dozen very boring children.
But it's still awfully nice to hear. ]
Thank you.
[ And after a moment to be quiet and pleased, ]
Tell me something else. Tell me when you realized you like Matthias, or what your favorite season is.
[ If there's one thing she's learned, both from life in the Gallows and life before it, it's that people's relationships are complicated and frequently opaque. She doesn't know, for instance, exactly how things work behind Madame de Cedoux's door, but she knows it involves two other people, and they each seem satisfied to carry the others' scents. That is enough.
Bastien is her friend, and he's happy. That can be enough, too. ]
Right before winter. When the weather is cool, but it isn't cold.
[ He laughs. That’s what he gets for giving her choices. And for making one of them a hard question. ]
How I realized I liked him—
[ Different from loved, thank the Maker. ]
We are old, you know, and we have known each other for a long time. It happened by inches. I thought he was handsome when I first saw him. Only handsome, though. The sort of places I spent time in back then—it was not unusual for the children of nobles to wander through for a year or two while they were avoiding their great burdens. [ Touch of sarcasm there. ] I liked to tell them lies and take their money. I assumed he was like them.
The first time we played together—music, I mean—that is how I realized he was interesting. I didn't expect him to be able to keep up with me, but he was better than I was. He still is. You should go listen to him play in Lowtown sometime, if you haven't, he's really—
[ He stops and puts himself back on track. ]
And then it turned out he was poorer than I was and not anything like the awful company he was keeping. I liked him plenty then. But he was in love with someone else. And so was I.
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You are on a mission today, huh?
[ In a manner of speaking. ]
If you want me to talk about myself, you have to trade me. That is the rule.
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[ But it doesn't sound particularly stubborn. ]
Who were you before Riftwatch?
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[ Monsieur Almary had a whole story. An imaginary family. Toward the end of Bastien's six-year stint with that false identity, there were days it even felt real. But it's hardly relevant now. ]
Only for a few years, though. Before that I was a bard.
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[ Of course he did. A bard, or a former bard, might change their name over and over. But Bastien has always seemed so steadfastly one thing that it still feels surprising to know. ]
Did you like being a bard?
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Now you have to tell me...
[ A moment to think. She's right; he does know about her past. Not all of the details, of course, but enough to know it's full of trip wires. ]
Something you want to do after the war.
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I want to go back to Nevarra. I want to find the place where I lived and make sure no one can ever make someone like me again.
[ Possibly sooner than after the war - during a war is when someone would want to. ]
And I want to visit someone at their home.
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Someone, in general? Or someone specific?
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[ Helpful, Laura. But if she'd meant a specific person, she'd say the name instead. ]
If the war ends, people will leave. I want to visit them where they want to live, not where they have to.
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I’m certain everyone will want to see you. And of course I will. You will have to come visit me.
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Have you ever been there?
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And I will bring Matthias. He would like soup inside bread.
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[ A delighted ah, not an oh no ah. ]
You are planning for after the war with him? It must be quite serious.
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He understands me. I like to be understood. And I understand him.
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It’s hard to think of anything better.
[ He’s not her father; he doubts she needs one, and the most he’s ever aspire to being for anyone is a fun uncle. But still. He’s most familiar with Matthias as someone calling Byerly a wanker and saying he wouldn’t care if he died, so— ]
And he’s kind to you? He listens? No name-calling?
[ Asked mildly, with only a small amount of real worry. He’s pretty sure Laura wouldn’t tolerate it. But only pretty. ]
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[ Her answer is immediate. The very question feels peculiar; if anything, she's of a mood to think herself far less kind. Matthias has learned to heal people, and she still exists to harm them. (Even Matthias himself, if only by accident.) She leaves the Gallows - and him - for months at a time, and he's never resentful. ]
He always listens. Unless I don't wish to say anything. Then he talks.
Is Byerly kind to you?
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[ Shocking as that might be to some people who get his argumentative, ornery pieces. But that’s why Bastien’s willing to believe without question that Matthias is gentle with Laura. No one is only one thing all the time with everyone. ]
If he weren’t, I’d have called things off a long time ago. And thrown all of his clothes into the harbor.
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I told him I was happy for him. I'm happier for you.
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Which is fine. That's the risk a fellow runs, taking up with a (technically) married man who has a history of riling people up for kicks and/or intel, who's sometimes genuinely moody and difficult, and has now been saddled with a position where he cannot possibly please everyone in their rowdy and disparate little organization and has more important work to do than try. If what Bastien needed was for everyone to be happy for him, he'd have married Catarina Barreau and had half a dozen very boring children.
But it's still awfully nice to hear. ]
Thank you.
[ And after a moment to be quiet and pleased, ]
Tell me something else. Tell me when you realized you like Matthias, or what your favorite season is.
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Bastien is her friend, and he's happy. That can be enough, too. ]
Right before winter. When the weather is cool, but it isn't cold.
How did you realize you liked Byerly?
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How I realized I liked him—
[ Different from loved, thank the Maker. ]
We are old, you know, and we have known each other for a long time. It happened by inches. I thought he was handsome when I first saw him. Only handsome, though. The sort of places I spent time in back then—it was not unusual for the children of nobles to wander through for a year or two while they were avoiding their great burdens. [ Touch of sarcasm there. ] I liked to tell them lies and take their money. I assumed he was like them.
The first time we played together—music, I mean—that is how I realized he was interesting. I didn't expect him to be able to keep up with me, but he was better than I was. He still is. You should go listen to him play in Lowtown sometime, if you haven't, he's really—
[ He stops and puts himself back on track. ]
And then it turned out he was poorer than I was and not anything like the awful company he was keeping. I liked him plenty then. But he was in love with someone else. And so was I.
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