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[cozen]

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[cozen]

"I see," Bastien says, but he means it in the polite way. Of course he doesn't fully understand. For example: "What does that feel like? The Veil being thin, for you. Is it even possible to analogize?"

[keenly]

“Well. When you’re a mage, there’s already a sort of opening of the Veil you take wherever you go. Sometimes you feel spirits or even hear them, and your dreams are very vivid, from what I understand. Sometimes I realize I’m dreaming and it’s just as real as when I’m awake. Um. Anyway. When the Veil’s thin, that gets...louder. More vivid, more intense. More encounters with spirits, especially in your sleep. You ignore them, it’s the best thing to do, but you’re still aware.”

[cozen]

Bastien listens, frowning a little. It's just thought, though, not judgment. "And the Veil is thin here because—because of the violence during the rebellion? Or was it always?"

[keenly]

“It started out a place they kept Tevinter slaves. This place was built to break the spirit. People died of violence and disease in a world that wanted it to happen so their neighbors might be subdued. Then it was one of the most brutal Circles in the world, under Meredith. Tranquility happened as a first resort for punishment, even when it was illegal, because the Grand Cleric let it happen. Mages were tortured here, murdered, raped, with no consequence for the Templars who did it. There was so much death and suffering here before the rebellion that what came after was superfluous.”

[cozen]

He nods a bit at the beginning—he knows why it was built, he's complained himself about the architecture being designed to make people miserable—but stops nodding as Colin goes on, because he doesn't want to seem like he's trying to make him stop.

"So—" What he was trying to ask, really. "—the mages here before were dealing with the Veil being thin the whole time?"

[keenly]

“Yes. Made abominations more common, when combined with all the suffering and despair.”

[cozen]

"Well, that's bullshit," Bastien says. "If they intended to keep mages from being possessed, they should not have set them up to fail that way."

But after a moment, hand on his slice of tarte tatin, he adds, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you talk about something so troubling. We can change the subject if you like."

[keenly]

A little shrug.

“It’s a reality I face every day. It doesn’t go away just because I’m not talking about it.”

[cozen]

"Of course." He pauses for a moment, but still doesn't take a bite, because that would be leaving, probably, and awkward silence for Colin to fill. So first: "The rest of Kirkwall is bearable?"

[keenly]

“It’s all thin here, but at least I’m not actually living in a former Circle, being reminded of everything.”

[cozen]

Bastien nods again.

"Would you have a better time if we got out of here?"

[keenly]

That’s not a consideration he expected. Having to turn his thoughts inward, examining his own comfort, is somehow more uncomfortable than just staying in the room having a conversation. Yet, it feels like he’s been pushing aside his own well-being for so long, turning away the consideration of others, that sooner or later he has to either change or break again.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I’m all right for now. Usually it’s sleeping here that’s hardest. Some other day it might be better to be somewhere else.”

[cozen]

"Well I meant, ah," Bastien says, sitting up a little straighter, "if you and I left, right now. To talk somewhere else. I need to go into the city anyway, and we could give the ferryman a piece of this on the way. It is so good, it deserves to be shared."

[keenly]

“I know what you meant,” Colin says quietly, half-swallowing it with some concern to sounding rude.

“If you need to anyway,” he says, oddly relieved at the choice being made for him. “We can go.”

[cozen]

Bastien might have hesitated. It's not really an enthusiastic endorsement of the idea.

But he really would prefer to leave. He's been privately miserable for the last few days—for reasons he definitely won't be bringing up—and he doesn't quite have the energy reserves necessary for discussing this sort of thing at length, alone in his room, with someone he doesn't know well enough to relax around, staring at each other over sweets. It'll be easier in the open air, in sight of people going about their lives.

So they're going. He smiles with the casual gratitude of someone who's just had their errands made easier and stands up, first to fuss with the pastry and cut off the promised slice for the ferryman.

"It's good that you have your flat."

[keenly]

“It’s Lexie’s. She just doesn’t live there.” He quickly finishes up his slice of tarte and rinses his hands in whatever basin there is before opening the door for Bastien.

[cozen]

"Oh!" Bastien says, heading out with a grateful little semi-bow for the door opening, with tarte in one hand and the package he needs to deliver ashore in the other. "That's wonderful. I think I knew the two of you were friends, but I suppose I did not realize how close."

It's not the flat that makes him say so. Bastien's never called her Lexie in his life, not even when they were younger. Though Athessa calls her Lexie as well—so maybe that's just Bastien, being Orlesian about it.

[keenly]

It’s not just Bastien. Athessa is just that casual, and it took Colin about two years to be comfortable with calling her that in public, due entirely to her insistence on him treating her just like any other friend. Still, he blushes a bit at being called out.

“I didn’t mean to be improper.”

[cozen]

"I didn't think you had been," says Bastien, who didn't mean it as a rebuke at all. Just an observation. He matches Colin's pace—easy, when they're nearly of a height—on the way to the stairs. "The Veil being so thin here, is that something we could do something about, do you think?"

[keenly]

"You'd have to ask someone else." Colin looks slightly apologetic. "I was barely Harrowed when the Circles fell."

[cozen]

Bastien nods to himself, storing the question for later–it'd be diplomatic! Look, Provisional Viscount, at what good and helpful guests they are!—and moving on.

"Were you able to paint and bake in the Circle? Or are they things you have started more recently?"

[keenly]

"Painting, I started more recently. When I first arrived here, I met this elf named Cyril who started me drawing, then Lady Alexandrie taught me painting. My mother taught me how to cook, though. I was able to do that in the Circle, the Tranquil didn't really mind. Got me through some hard times."

[cozen]

He doesn't need to ask what the hard times were, at least. Not that he would either way. Tell me about your misery isn't generally how he goes about making friends, when that misery isn't handed to him in a letter.

"I would not have guessed you started so recently." Painting, obviously. "I asked Benedict Artemaeus to help me add some color to the dining hall—maybe you could help, too? If he wouldn't mind. I think he wants to do a mural, but we could hang up some things, too, so you could paint without having to be here for it."

[keenly]

"...I'd actually love that," Colin says with a shy smile. "Especially if it was a mural. It would be...reclaiming it. Even though I wasn't kept here, I'd be a Circle mage doing that."

[cozen]

"Great. I will talk to him and see what he thinks. But even if he already has everything planned and does not want to collaborate, it is a big room. I am sure there is space for both of you."