Maker, Bastien, why do you think I'm asking? Sounding like a damned fool while doing it.

[ That comes out a little easier, and it's followed by a laugh - a choked, awkward thing. There's no reading Bastien. What's in his face? It's as tranquil as any other look that Bastien gives. For a moment, By wishes he could turn back time and throttle the Bards that trained Bastien. It's a foolish impulse, because without that training, Bastien would never have come into Byerly's orbit; he'd have been a decent fellow tucked away in the sticks, By fancies, a schoolteacher for a local village, quietly engendering in them a love of reading and music. No adventures, but less pain, as well. A lovely and lamentable thing.

Will you. If By is reaching out to Alexandrie, all danger, then he feels like he needs Bastien, too. And By doesn't know what Bastien feels, if this is casual fun, or self-destruction, or self-flagellation, sleeping with someone like Byerly - or if there's some real sentiment to it. But if he is going to maintain stability, he needs his friend. And he cannot stand the thought of asking that friend to sit and listen and support him after having been shut out of Byerly's life. ]

I would. It's merely - a rather cockeyed request.