cozen: (n038)
Bastien ([personal profile] cozen) wrote 2021-04-19 01:13 pm (UTC)

Mm.

[ It is the only polite thing to say while he’s chewing. After he’s swallowed, though— ]

I hate to give advice, because then if it goes badly it is my fault. [ A joke. Sort of. ] And I don’t know how things are for the two of you when I am not there, you know, making them much worse.

[ Also a joke; also only sort of. ]

I think it is hard to talk to someone about how they have hurt you unless you don’t mind hurting them back. But I think if I were hurt—if I were capable of being hurt[ One last joke for the road, with a wry little smile, because he doesn’t expect her to believe that old spy’s lie. ]then knowing that the person who hurt me understood what it meant for me, feeling like they could carry that with me—it would be a step. [ Again: ] I think.

[ He thinks of Byerly, younger and even skinnier and selling his violin to scrape by, and his default pleasant expression dips for a moment. But then it’s back. ]

I also think I do not really know what I am doing, most of the time, so...

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