[ Fine, he was going to say again. He catches himself. Not quite a lie, but close enough he steps back from it. ]
I might be a little jealous, too, I think. Not territorial, not like that, but—it seems so much bigger and louder, with the two of you. And the way she focuses, like she has to remind herself anyone else is there. I can’t do that. The only time I am not thinking of everyone who can see me and what they must think and what I should say and what I should be doing with my hands and my face—I only stop when I’m alone, and sometimes when I’m alone with you. If someone else can see, I can’t. I hope that doesn’t mean I don’t love you enough.
[ —steps back from fine and into a puddle of honesty a little deeper than he expected. And sending crystals are convenient, but he also hates them. They’re only a little bit better than letters, so far as being able to gauge reactions goes.
So he makes a quasi-laugh sort of noise, self-deprecating in its awkwardness, and jokes— ]
See what you get when you worry about my feelings? That’ll teach you.
no subject
[ Fine, he was going to say again. He catches himself. Not quite a lie, but close enough he steps back from it. ]
I might be a little jealous, too, I think. Not territorial, not like that, but—it seems so much bigger and louder, with the two of you. And the way she focuses, like she has to remind herself anyone else is there. I can’t do that. The only time I am not thinking of everyone who can see me and what they must think and what I should say and what I should be doing with my hands and my face—I only stop when I’m alone, and sometimes when I’m alone with you. If someone else can see, I can’t. I hope that doesn’t mean I don’t love you enough.
[ —steps back from fine and into a puddle of honesty a little deeper than he expected. And sending crystals are convenient, but he also hates them. They’re only a little bit better than letters, so far as being able to gauge reactions goes.
So he makes a quasi-laugh sort of noise, self-deprecating in its awkwardness, and jokes— ]
See what you get when you worry about my feelings? That’ll teach you.