[ It’s not what she expects; kindness, when she knows she has done something awful. She does not expect to be reached for, to be wanted. She has been gone from court for nearly three years now, but she steeped in its venom so long her bones still believe that any misstep is her last.

And then it isn’t. No-one has abandoned her. No-one betrays her. No-one takes vengeance. No-one is snide, or cruel, or cold to her. She stands like a deer who does not know to run, open and soft and vulnerable, and no-one shoots.

It will be a few minutes before she replies, because she is calming herself so she does not cry again, but then she returns. ]

No. No. It should not bother me even if I did not need to guess because you have said “good-bye Alexandrie, I am going upstairs to be very tender with Byerly now and I expect he will be very tender with me and then we will kiss each other on every surface of the office including the ceiling.”

It only hurts to see it. It is only that I cannot see him turn to you in a way he does not turn to me without making a spectacle of myself.