"No," he says, then shakes his head, and looks sorry. "No, but we did not have to live in the same building or work together. By then he did not even live in the city. He had to invite me or come see me on purpose."

A very different situation.

"But I would be very surprised if she was only your friend out of pity. She might feel like she is hurting you and feel sorry about it, but not is not the same thing as befriending someone out of pity."